Madness

The time is not here yet.. But I am planning to do things that is crazy. Only madness and insanity in my mental faculty drove me to such a plan. I will only know in less than 60 days if the other party is crazy as I am. Driven by desperation and emotional exhaustion.
A hatched plan that if carried out, we will take it secret and outcome to our grave.
What exactly is my plan I cannot revealed in this post.
You realise that the paragraph just above this, I used the pronounced "we" .
So it is a team effort to execute this plan..
The agreement to this if concurs by us, will change our lives forever.
Just to be cleared on this matter, it is not related to the current hype of extremists activity.
Far from it.
It is above changing life, enhancing other people life and sticking to society socials norms. The expectation of others in this conservative society.
Where is the madness in this you will asked.
The madness lies in the actions that we will do have to be secret and no words spoken. The suffering is our alone yet the happiness is others.
Why are we willing to to this?
That is the bits where my mind succumbed to madness.

#**+@@?!!£@!?!)(??#@@*!!

That is how my reaction to the news of cruelty to animals.
When animals from different species treat each other with respect in domestic environment, we so called human. are being animals with our treatment to them.
My hope in humanity is thinning out fast.

Loneliness

Is it real or imaginary?
In cities we are surrounded with people yet we found out from the media that someone out there is lonely.
Old lady, living alone, found dead in apartment. Been dead for three weeks. Neighbour alerted the authority due to foul smell.
How is this possible?
Honestly, I don't have the answer. Yes, we could speculate about the circumstances of the death. But my unanswered questions are where are her families member, her friends and peoples in her daily life that interact with her.
Is it a failure of society or individual?
Government policy that was in place but not enacted and enforced?
Maybe these will go unanswered. A mystery . Just like her life and death.

Buying packet food.

It was lunch time and I was hungry as a bear.
My co workers knew that I was going for meal that they requested from me to buy them their packed lunches.
The place where I bought the packet food was crowded. The queue was long. The dishes were running out fast.
I managed to order four packets of lunches just in time. Paid for it and left.
Had a wonderful lunch to my filled.
As I was contented with my meal, I wondered how many are going by the day without any meal.
My take on this is, if you cannot feed a hundred persons, one will do. It can be your friends at work, a homeless person you passed by everyday or any stray animals. It's the deed that count. The content doesn't matter, as long the recipients are happy and grateful.
Just a side note. You need not to upload to YouTube to show your deeds. Knowing what you did and be humble about it is a gratifying  reward by itself.
But then I am guilty of the things that I mentions above. I posted it in my blog,
Shame on me.

Can't sleep.

I am tired but yet I cannot sleep. It is raining at the moment. The weather is nice yet I cannot sleep. As I typed this useless piece of information, I am into my third stick of cigarettes. Maybe it the loin pressure that has not been released. I am too tired to turn on the valve. Yet I cannot sleep. If the water has flow, again I am too tired to get up to clean the mess. Arghhh... it is catch twenty two or isn't it?

Personal confirmation of humility.

I have travelled numerous time on working trips that I have failed to see the qualities of its inhabitants.
My working trips take me to third world countries in south East Asia.
I hailed from a developed, so called "First World Nation" country, which are advance in infrastructure and "quality of life".
It is so fast paced that we lost the basic human touches and empathy for others.
The working trips that I went are so tight with works that I have no time to explore the locality.
Recently, I just took a solo trip to these places, as my personal vacation, that I had the chances to interact with the locals.
I went around to the rural areas, avoiding the big cities and staying mostly in cheap hotels in one pig /cow / goat / chicken towns or home stay in the villages.
The village stay was an impromptu affair. After dark, once they found out that I have no place to spend the night, I was offered the villages common area to bunk in or was invited to their home.
These villages knew the values of treating guest well, with the limited resources that they possessed.
They make sure that I was comfortable with their bare necessities. Honestly, I was more than comfortable. It is not in material sense, but the gestures and treatment.
The small cash token that are given to them, was returned back to me, in form of hearty village meals and merriment.
The sincere and genuine treatments make me so welcome that I cried inside.
They are mostly not from a well to do segment of society, in term of economic wealth.
But they were filthy rich in manners, courtesy  towards other and selflessness.
I concurred that hardship in life makes one humble and sincere .
The well to do that never lift a finger to break a sweat, in my bias opinion, treat others with disdained, prejudiced and contempt.
As if those "beneath" them, owe them a living.
My experiences confirmed that if you are willing to serve anyone in any capacity, regardless of your social status or the status of others, you served with sincerity, that acts  will make you a much well like person in the long run.
Also, you realised that it make you a much happier person, contented with life, open your heart to humility and importantly, empathy for others.
That is the quality that make us human.
Please bring back the trust to humanities that we are about to lose.

Trying to restart my dying blog

It's been some, no.. Make it a long, time that I have tried to blog but it always ended up in my mind.. Dead. Just like my brain.
So I will try to do this again and just types anything that come to my mind. 
Whether it is nonsense or not, honestly, I don't care. I just wants to do this so that if my physical body is weak, I still have my mind. That I will train to be actively engaged.
The subject of getting old is only the view of other person.
It is not the person that is old, view oneself as old.
Anyway, that is my thinking and perception.
Care to clarify on this point?
But then again... hmmm... who cares right?!